You're Not Supposed To Die
by Commanderskaikru
Summary: A year after Clarke fell from the sky her and Lexa's relationship is growing. A nearby enemy is threatening their territory and Clarke has a big decision to make. (Rated M just to be sure, lol)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first fanfiction, and I appreciate all and every advice, comment, corrections etc. This fic will probably be slightly au, and things from the show won't be exactly the same. I hope you enjoy:)**

It was just before dawn and Clarke was walking through the woods on her way to the lake she had found on one of her evening walks. The air was clammy and the sun was expected to rise any minute, Clarke's favorite time of the day. In her arms she carried her beloved book and a box of charcoal. The book was almost complete, each page full of different places, designs of various weapons or clothing and the faces of the people around her. When she arrived at her destination she could see the beginning of the sunrise, the colors dancing in the sky, and sat down in her favorite spot. It was under a big tree, not far from the edge of the cliff that was positioned a few meters away from the lake. She took a moment to admire the nature around her, as she had done so many times before. The lake was small and had a tiny waterfall running from a hill on the left. The water was shallow and clear, and just the perfect temperature for taking a bath. Clarke had drawn the lake many times, each from different angles, but could not seem to catch the beauty and feel of the place. She opened her book and decided it was worth one more try. Her hand hadn't moved many times over the paper in front of her when she heard someone coming from the woods. She put her book down and tried to get a look at who was coming, hidden behind the tree. Much to her surprise it was the commander, and she was alone. This was a rare sighting, seeing as her guards followed her everywhere. Clarke tried to stay behind the tree but it was the commander so she did not go unnoticed for long.

"Clarke. I did not expect to see you here," Lexa said, walking toward the tree.  
"I could say the same for you." Clarke closed her book and put it behind her.  
"Why have you come here so early? I thought Sky people preferred to sleep for as long as possible. May I?" Lexa asked and motioned for the space next to Clarke.  
"Of course. I come here to look at the sunrise, and it's the only quiet place around."  
As Lexa sat down Clarke inched herself a bit away from her, but not so much that it would be considered rude. There had been an incident a little while ago where they had to sit in close proximity, and Clarke found herself thinking about Lexa after that, and not as the commander of the grounders. To try and prevent that this time she sat further away. "Why are you here?" Clarke asked after a moment of silence.  
"I come here to think sometimes. It's the only place I can get away from my guards and other people wanting my attention for a little while. I also like watching the sunrise."  
"Wow. Who would've thought that the stoic and fearless _heda _enjoyed watching the sunrise," Clarke said shaking her head.  
"There are many things you don't know about me, Clarke of the Sky people."  
"Like what? Tell me something about you," Clarke turned towards Lexa and crossed her legs. Lexa was silent for a few minutes, watching the sunrise over the cliff and feeling the light breeze on her face. She closed her eyes and filled her lungs with air, before slowly letting it out. "There was once a girl," she started, "she was a lot like you. Strong, independent, stubborn." Lexa continued, telling her the story of Costia, the girl she had once loved. She told her about the Ice Nation and how they had tortured and killed her, all because she was Lexa's. It was very unlike her to talk about personal things, especially feelings, but there was something about Clarke that made the words flow. Ever since she fell from the sky about a year ago there was something about her that held Lexa's attention. The previous commander, Anya, would often come back to camp and talk about '_Clarke kom skaikru, daun branwada', _and the girl who made her so angry always intrigued Lexa. Now that she had gotten to know her, her infatuation grew. As Lexa finished her story her head was hanging low, and her eyes were closed. There was a few minutes of silence while Clarke took it all in and processed this new information. "I am so sorry that happened to you, I can't imagine what that's like. Thank you for telling me." Clarke tried looking Lexa in the eyes, but had no such luck.  
"Did you not love Finn?" Lexa finally raised her head.  
"Not like you seem to love Costia," Clarke admitted.  
"Loved. I have no love now, love is weakness." Lexa's hard expression was back and you couldn't tell that she had just shared her heart's deepest suffering.  
"So you care for no one? You don't feel anything?" Clarke frowned at Lexa. She couldn't understand how someone couldn't love and have no compassion.  
"No." As she answered Clarke's questions Lexa averted her eyes, because she knew that if she looked directly at her, Clarke would somehow know that she was lying. "I have to get back to camp, Indra wanted to go over some maps with me. I will see you later, Clarke of the Sky people," Lexa said as she stood up and walked away.

_**Clarke kom skaikru, daun branwada – Clarke of the Sky people, that brownwater.  
(Brownwater is a term used by the grounders as an insult.)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for all the follows and favorites! Oh my god, I am overwhelmed. I did not think it would happen so fast, or even at all. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I haven't disappointed you. Again, thank you :)**

Lexa and Indra were standing in the war room. It was the only hut built as one big room and there was giant table in the middle containing several objects that was supposed to make out a map. It was also the only one slightly bigger than Lexa's, and it was positioned at the left of hers, in the middle of camp. "Heda, if we move these traps over here, I think-" Indra started, but she was interrupted before she could finish. Gustus came barging into the room, out of breath. "Heda! We have received word from the scouts in the north!" It was all spoken in Trigedasleng. "Continue," Lexa ordered. "They have observed the Ice Nation packing up camp. They believe they are marching here," Gustus looked worried.  
"Do you have proof?" Lexa's expression remained the same.  
"Not yet. I think we should send a new group of scouts, observe from both sides of their camp, maybe someone will overhear something," Gustus said and waited patiently for an answer. Lexa pondered this new information. There was no exact proof of their marching, but no clan packed up their camp if they did not have a reason. Her clan had moved because of an alliance, and if that was what the Ice Nation was doing then they had a problem. If they were marching, they had a problem. If they were moving just to get to new land, they still had to do something, because they would be invading Lexa's land, and no one invaded her land.  
"Send a group of five scouts to the east of their village. If they have not returned any news in fourteen days, we march," Lexa commanded.

It was a three days ride to the Ice Nation's camp and the scouts were ordered to leave immediately. Lexa went back to her hut to process everything that had just happened. She sat down in her chair and let her thoughts wander. If the Ice Nation was attacking, she had to be prepared. She had to win, for her people, but also for Costia. And Clarke. She started thinking of her old memories with Costia, but they soon turned into new ones with Clarke. She thought of their meeting by the lake and suddenly she found herself imagining what the future could be like, with Clarke by her side. This was an unusual thing for her to do and it made her quite uncomfortable. _Love is weakness_, she thought. She quickly forced herself to think of new strategies to protect their camp, and what they would do if there was a war coming.

Clarke had returned from the lake a little while after Lexa. She had stayed behind to process and think about everything Lexa had told her. She had opened up her heart and Clarke was both confused and honored at the same time. She was confused because it was so out of character, and Lexa had always prided herself in not showing any emotion. She was honored because of the very same reason. She doubted anyone but her closest generals and counselors knew what happened to Costia, and the pain it brought her.  
She arrived back at camp just in time to see Gustus running in to the war room, not asking permission and disregarding the guards outside. He was usually very strict about maintaining rules and regulations, so something had to be very wrong. She fought the urge to go check, and went to put the book and charcoals back instead. She took off her clammy shirt and put on a new one before going outside again. Gustus and Indra were talking to a group of people while they were getting their horses ready. She could hear them and picked up a few words, but hadn't learned enough of their language to follow the conversation. Lexa was nowhere in sight, but her guards were standing outside her hut so Clarke figured that's where she was. She wondered what had happened and what news Gustus had brought, but decided not to go talk to her, thinking it would be too soon after her revelations that morning. She opted to go see how combat training went instead.

The grounders had started teaching her people how to fight in hand-to-hand combats, while some of the sky people were trying to get a few grounders to volunteer for shooting practice, but they wouldn't budge. When she arrived at the training grounds she stood and watched as a few grounders fought each other, while the sky people observed. Octavia, who had really taken to the grounder way of living, was instructing some of the women on how to use their agility to take down stronger opponents. It was a sight Clarke enjoyed quite a lot. Tree people and sky people living as one, learning, teaching and surviving, together. She decided to join Octavia's lesson to try and learn something, and if it helped her take her mind of a certain brunette that was just a bonus.

After taking some time to herself, Lexa wandered outside to check on her camp. She looked at the mix of her people and the ones from the sky, living in synch. She was proud of this alliance. Her people were stronger and with the new technology the Sky people brought they had an advantage over the Ice Nation and any other enemy there was out there. She knew Anya would be proud. 

She made her way over to the training grounds to oversee the progress. There were sky people all over the place, but only one caught her eye. She located the blonde across the grounds, moving effortlessly when Octavia swung her stick, like she had been doing it for years. At least that's what Lexa saw. As Clarke was dodging another swing she turned around and their eyes locked. It ended abruptly when Clarke was hit in the back by Octavia's stick, which made her fall face first in the mud. Lexa bowed her head to hide the smile that appeared on her face and silently scolded herself for feeling this way.  
_Love is weakness._


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you all again for following, favoring and reviewing! It means so much and it makes me so excited to keep writing. **

**Rain Addict CM: I don't think Lexa will be able to resist for long either ;)**

**Phoenix072124: I'm glad you liked it!**

It was almost midnight when Lexa could finally retreat to her quarters. She was exhausted, but still managed to maintain her hard, emotionless expression until she was safely inside her hut, alone. She dropped her shoulders and released a long sigh before trying to rub some of the exhaustion off her face. She unclasped her belt and was just about to drive her knife in the table when she saw a note with her name on it. She picked it up and studied the handwriting, which she didn't recognize. After laying her belt and sword on the table she carefully opened the piece of paper. It contained few words, but her reading abilities weren't the best, so it took some time before she had deciphered the message.

_Meet me at the lake at dawn.  
We need to talk._

_Clarke_

Lexa tried to think of why Clarke would want to talk to her, and why she wanted to go to the lake to do it. She thought maybe Clarke would want to talk about Costia, but pushed it away quickly. She had told her the whole story and didn't feel like talking about it again, not right now, so if Clarke brought it up she would refuse. At least that's what her plan was, but considering everything that had happened that day, and everything she had felt, she didn't know if she'd be able to.  
She put down the note and went outside to tell the guard situated there that he needed to wake her at dawn. He didn't question his commander, just nodded. Lexa went back inside, took of her armor and went to bed. Sleep didn't come easy, she was too busy thinking about her impending meeting with Clarke. She didn't know whether to feel excited or nervous, and settled on a mix of the two.

Dawn was approaching and Lexa's guard entered her quarters to do as he was asked. He tried calling her from the opening to her room, but to no luck. He then decided to try shaking her awake. While he knew what he was doing was risky, he wanted to fulfill his duties. Walking over the bed he started to get nervous. It was the commander after all, and she hadn't lost a single battle. Surprisingly many people had tried challenging her leadership, but all had lost their lives. When he reached the bed he stuck out his arm, and tentatively stirred the sleeping form. The moment his hand touched her, she turned around faster than he could blink and he felt a knife at his throat. "_Heda_! It is me!" he yelled out. Lexa slowly brought her knife down and released her guard. She quickly remembered what she had told him to do and apologized. He bowed his head and walked back outside. Lexa got dressed but didn't put much armor on knowing she was safe at the lake, and started walking.

When she reached the lake she saw that Clarke had already arrived, and had even started a campfire. She decided to stay back and observe the girl that had occupied her mind lately. The light from the fire created an almost magical light around Clarke that made her glow. She was close enough to see that Clarke was drawing in her book again, but far enough away to not be noticed. Lexa felt weird about creeping on Clarke like this, but she couldn't help herself. Despite trying to convince herself that love was weakness she found herself straying more and more away from her beliefs, and rather more towards the girl that fell from the sky. She was fully aware that love was weakness, but she couldn't help but be weak around Clarke. She realized that now. She was falling in love with Clarke Griffin. She recognized these feelings from when she got to know Costia, but at the same time they were different.  
Stronger.  
She had thought Costia was her soulmate, but was it possible that Clarke was the one? All these thoughts and feelings scared her, but they also made her somewhat excited. She knew love was exciting, she had experienced it, but she also knew it could be excruciatingly painful. If she were to take Clarke as hers, she would be in great danger. That was, if Clarke even liked her back. Suddenly Lexa felt like a little girl again, unsure of the world around her, and surprisingly self-conscious.

Clarke was sitting in her favorite spot by the tree when she heard twigs snapping behind her. She knew it was Lexa immediately. Had it been anyone else she probably wouldn't have heard them before she was dead. She put her book down and threw another log on the fire and some of the embers erupted from the ashes. She had been there for a few hours now, and decided to start a fire to get some light and keep warm. Lexa appeared from the shadows and sat down next to her.  
"To be honest I didn't know if you would actually come," Clarke said when Lexa had settled.  
"Like I said, there are many things you don't know about me," there was a hint of a smile on Lexa's face. "You mentioned you wanted to talk? What do you have on your mind?" She looked expectantly at Clarke. Deciding to get right to it, Clarke asked her about Gustus, and Lexa hesitated a bit before answering.  
"We have received word that the Ice Nation is marching. We do not know why yet, but we have two groups of scouts observing them, we should know in a few days. It is nothing of worry," Lexa didn't want Clarke to overreact to the news, and tried to downplay it a little. Technically, she wasn't lying; there was no specific reason to worry, not yet.  
"What do you mean they are marching? Are they attacking? Do you have a plan?" Clarke had turned her body fully towards Lexa now.  
"Like I said, we do not know why. I will inform you once I get news of my own," Lexa said calmly.  
"Tell me about the Ice Nation," Clarke said after a minute of silence, "please. You said they were the ones who killed Costia?" Costia. Lexa had promised herself not to agree to talk about her, but with the way Clarke was looking at her, she didn't know if she could keep that promise. Clarke looked eager, to learn perhaps, but she also looked compassionate and caring, as if she wanted to take some of Lexa's pain on to herself.  
_God Lexa, get it together. You're the commander for crying out loud. Don't let her break you, _she thought. No matter how much she tried talking herself out of it, it didn't help at all. "Yes. They were the ones to kill her. As I said, their queen believed she knew my secrets. When she did not talk, she was of no use to them. The Ice queen has tried to take me down ever since I became commander." Lexa was silent after that and tried to keep her feelings in check. Clarke wanted to ask more questions about her past with the Ice Nation, but she could see that Lexa didn't want to talk about it anymore. In the time Clarke had known her she had learned to somewhat read her. She couldn't figure out what she was feeling all the time, but in moments like these, when she let her guard down, she managed to get a sense of the commander's thoughts.

The sun started to rise and they sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the fresh air.  
"I guess you have to leave soon, go back to your commander duties," Clarke said, not knowing if it was a question or a statement.  
"I have time. If something is really important they know where to find me," Lexa answered with a twitch in her lips.

As they sat in silence, enjoying each other's company, Clarke realized that she had never heard Lexa mention her parents or her family. She wondered if they were gone, or if Lexa just didn't have contact with them. She also wondered how the grounders thought about family. She knew they didn't have last names, just what clan they were from.  
"Lexa, where is your family?" She decided to just come right out and ask. She was never known for beating around the bush after all, even though she did find herself stammering and blubbering around Lexa at times.  
"My parents are gone," was all she got in return. Lexa looked in the opposite direction, fidgeting with her hands, something that was very uncharacteristic.  
"What were they like?" Clarke asked softly, seeing how Lexa reacted on the topic of her family. This was obviously something she struggled with, and Clarke was hoping she would let her in. Lexa was taking her time again, and tried to regain her posture before answering.  
"My mother was sweet as the day is long. She was also strong and a fierce warrior. One of the best archer's I have seen in all my lives. My father was hard on the outside, but at night, when we were back in our home, he would always make me laugh and smile. It all changed though, when the commander spirit showed itself in me," Lexa started to smile as she told Clarke about her parents, but her face turned darker at the mention of the spirit.  
Clarke also smiled. She was imagining Lexa as a little girl, running around camp, fighting other kids with wooden swords, laughing and smiling all the time. She liked to think of Lexa as a happy child.  
"What happened with the spirit?" She could sense that it was hard for Lexa to talk about this, but she couldn't contain her curiosity. She wanted to know everything about the complexity that was Lexa.

Lexa took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. She had never talked to anyone about her family, not even Costia. Again, she found herself realizing the extent of her feelings. Here she was, opening herself up to Clarke like she had never done before, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She _wanted_ to tell Clarke about her life. She _wanted _Clarke to know everything about her, and she wanted to know all about Clarke in return. This was a completely new feeling for Lexa, and she didn't know what to think about it. She thought about the question Clarke asked her, and decided to answer her, knowing she would keep asking if she didn't.  
"Like I said, my father would always play around with me, and my mother would sometimes join him. After the spirit presented itself there was no more playing. I was training all day, attending different meetings and lessons. By the time I came home, everyone had gone to bed, or they were being too respectful to do anything. In our culture, when a child is chosen by the commander spirit she is to be treated almost the same as the commander. None of the other children were allowed to play with me either. I didn't have many friends before, but the one I had, Ayandra, ran away when I was chosen. My parents became very distant after that. They soon died in battle and I was left with Anya. She became my family." Lexa turned away and tried discreetly to wipe a fallen tear. Clarke noticed, but didn't say anything. The commander had never been this vulnerable around her before and she didn't want to do anything that could ruin it. There was one thing she wondered, and figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.  
"Who was Ayandra?" Clarke asked softly. Lexa turned around and looked Clarke in the eyes.  
"My sister."


	4. Chapter 4

«Your sister?!» Clarke exclaimed, a little louder than she intended. She didn't know what to think. Not only was Lexa talking about her family for the first time, but she also had a sister. "Wha- What happened to her?" she stuttered.

"I do not know. The day after I was chosen she was gone. I have not seen her since," Lexa said, looking at Clarke.

"Do you know why she left?" Clarke asked.

"No. She just disappeared. She didn't even tell our parents. They were devastated."

Lexa was looking down at her hands now and Clarke sensed that this was a story for another time. She was still curious, and had it been anyone else she wouldn't hesitate to ask more. This was Lexa though. Strong, powerful, unbreakable Lexa, who had more feelings than she led people to believe, and she was sharing this with Clarke. She secretly hoped that she was the only one who got to see this side of Lexa, her heart beating faster at the thought.

"Maybe we should head back soon. You probably have a lot to do."

Lexa nodded slowly at Clarke's words before getting ready to get up from her seat. The sun had rose long ago and Lexa realized for the first time how long they had been there. She offered Clarke her hand, which she accepted, and pulled her to stand. Clarke collected her book and charcoals, and they walked together in silence back to camp.

Lexa's mind was racing and her emotions were raging inside her. She had not felt like this in a long time, and wasn't really sure what to do with herself. She tried her best to remain expressionless and hoped Clarke wouldn't ask any more questions. She knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to say no. She just had to accept that Clarke had a tight grip around her heart and she wasn't letting go anytime soon. Lexa took a deep breath and tried to pinpoint exactly what she was feeling. Angry, at herself and the situation she had gotten herself in, scared of the possible outcome, and even a little bit excited. She did not know however, how to deal with all this. She prided herself in being able to distance herself from her feelings, but this time it was so much harder. Clarke made her feel so many things.

After entering the gates of their camp, they sauntered in different directions with a nod. Clarke went to her hut to put her things away and Lexa wandered over to the training grounds, after she had picked up her armor.

The second Lexa arrived she started looking for a worthy opponent, figuring a little sparring could do her good. There were mostly sky people around, but she could spot some of her people as well. To her left there were a few grounders showing the others how to make a sword of their own. She recognized one of her night guards, Oato. She knew he would do well in a match against her. He was one of the best swordsmen she had, there was a reason he was a night guard.

"Oato! Are you up for a little friendly competition?" she asked when she arrived at their location.

"For you _Heda_, always," he answered.

They walked a little further away from the others who were training and began their brawl.

Lexa drew her sword and took her stand. She and her opponent circled each other before Oato took the first swing. Lexa easily eluded the attack and kept circling. Her face was emotionless but the rage was building inside her. It was the only feeling strong enough to keep the others away so she welcomed it with open arms. They went on like that for a while, alternating between circling and attacking. Lexa got in the most hits but Oato got a few good ones as well. Lexa was just recuperating from a blow that knocked her over, and her rage was constantly growing. She couldn't remember the last time she was this angry and wanted to finish her opponent as fast as possible. She was getting tired and her body hurt from the cuts and bruises she had gotten, the most worthy of attention was the gash in her upper arm.

They were circling again and Lexa finally noticed the crowd that had formed around them. Most importantly, she noticed the wide-eyed blonde staring at them. There was something in Clarke's eyes she couldn't quite pinpoint, but whatever it was it convinced her to get this over with. She set her eyes on her opponent and growled quietly before swinging her sword at him. She swung, and swung, and swung, and Oato could not keep up for long. He was soon on his back with Lexa on top of him. She had now withdrawn her knife and held it against his throat, hard enough to make a few drops of blood trickle to the ground. Her eyes were burning with anger and the fallen grounder actually looked terrified.

"_Heda_, he is finished," Indra spoke up.

When Lexa made no indication that she was moving, Indra tried again.

"_Heda._"

Lexa finally looked up and saw the worried, frowning people around her. What was she doing? Oato touched the wound on his throat before looking at his hand. Lexa slowly got up, put her knife to her palm, and sliced it, before squeezing out a few drops of blood. "_Jus drein, jus daun_," she said and walked to her hut.

Clarke immediately broke through the crowd and followed her.

"Lexa, wait!" she yelled, but Lexa didn't stop.

When Clarke finally got to Lexa's hut she had already started bandaging the wound in her palm and was mumbling to herself in Trigedasleng. Clarke managed to pick up a few swear words one of the teenagers had taught her, but the rest was inaudible.

"Lexa, wha-" Clarke started, but before she could finish Lexa whirled around and walked towards her.

"This is your fault!" Lexa yelled, "this is all your fault." She started pacing back and forth, alternating between English and Trigedasleng. "If you had just stayed up in the sky everything would be fine. I tried my best for this not to happen. _Hodnes laik kwelnes_. That was all I had to remember. It worked fine until you showed up. You and your _skaikru_." She kept talking and waving her arms around, and the gash on her arm was bleeding quite a lot, but it didn't seem like she noticed. Clarke tried to interrupt but Lexa just kept on talking, and had now resorted to only speaking Trigedasleng.

"Lexa I don't know what you're saying." Clarke stood helplessly and watched as the commander had, what she had concluded, a panic attack.

She desperately tried to think of what to do, thinking back to everything she had learned. She thought maybe a distraction could help, or a hit in the head. Although the latter was a little tempting, she figured it wouldn't be such a good idea. There was nothing distracting enough nearby and Clarke felt she was fighting a losing battle.  
_Unless, _she thought. No, this was a crazy idea. She couldn't go through with it. It would most likely work though; she had seen her mother use it when her father freaked out over his job. _It couldn't hurt to try. What could go wrong? It's totally innocent_, she thought. Deciding to try, Clarke squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and walked towards Lexa. Lexa noticed the determination in her eyes and stopped pacing for a second before barking, _Chit yu gaf?_ Then shaking her head and translating.

"What do you want?"

Clarke didn't answer. She just raised her hands to Lexa's cheeks and pressed their lips together.


	5. Chapter 5

The kiss lasted only a few seconds before Clarke withdrew. Lexa barely had any time to react and her expression was unreadable, but her eyes were slowly widening.

"That was for, you know. The thing. You were- I just- you know, freaking out," Clarke said, her voice shaking.

"Yes of course," Lexa nodded, not sure what to do.

They stood like that, in silence, for a few more seconds, just observing each other. Lexa didn't know what to think of the situation. Clarke had said it was just to calm her down, but a small part of her couldn't help but hope there was something else behind the act too. She thought about what she should do next. Should she act as if it never happened? She didn't know if she could do that. Finally, she had gotten an idea of what Clarke's lips tasted like and she craved more.

Clarke on the other hand, was questioning her own actions. Kissing Lexa had sparked something in her. Something she knew was there, but didn't want to acknowledge yet. Now however, the feelings were overwhelming her. The barricade holding them in blew and her body was flooded. She tried swallowing the lump in her throat, but it wouldn't budge. She couldn't think straight with all these emotions bubbling inside, and the way Lexa was looking at her didn't help either. Maybe this wasn't so innocent after all.

They had yet to move when Octavia walked carefully into the hut.

"Commander? Indra wants to speak with you," she said, unaware of the tension between the two people in front of her.

"Thank you, Octavia. I will go immediately," Lexa said and adjusted her jacket before walking out.

"We have to do something about that gash!" Clarke tried yelling after her but she was already gone.

"Hey, you want to go get something to eat?" Octavia asked.

"Yeah, I'm starving."

On their way to get food they ran into Bellamy, who joined them. They decided to get some dried meat and berries, and sat down on a few logs a bit away from the rest of their camp.

"How is training with Indra going?" Clarke asked Octavia and grabbed a handful of berries.

"It's going good. She's very strict and I get my ass kicked all the time, but it's also a lot of fun," she answered, "I'm learning so much."

"And Lincoln?" Clarke said, raising an eyebrow.

"No. I will not sit here talking about my little sister's love life," Bellamy now spoke up, "unacceptable."

"Calm your ovaries, Bell. It's not like I'm going to tell _you_ about my sex life," Octavia answered, emphasizing the "you" part. "It's going really well. We uhh-"she stopped there for a second, looking at Clarke and Bellamy, deciding if she should tell them or not.

"We have actually been talking a lot lately, about a bonding ceremony. As in marriage."

"What? O, that's great! I'm so happy for you," Clarke said and rubbed her friends arm.

"You sure about his?" Bellamy stared intently at his little sister, his big brother instincts taking over.

"Yeah. Lincoln is the one for me, I know it"

Bellamy just nodded at this, satisfied with his sister's answer.

"I kissed Lexa," Clarke blurted out after a few minutes of silence.

"You did what?" Octavia asked right away, while Bellamy just looked at her, eyes wide.

"I kissed Lexa. I just- She was panicking, and I didn't know what to do, so I- I kissed her. You can't tell anyone."

"Dude. You kissed the freaking commander? You got balls. Also, great job, she's hot," Octavia said, giving her a high five.

"No, it's not like we're together or anything. It was just a distraction. I think. I don't know, help me."

"Well, do you have feelings for her?" Bellamy had now gotten over the initial shock.

"I don't know, maybe. How do I know?" Clarke suddenly felt insecure.

"How do you feel when you're around her?" Octavia asked.

Clarke thought about this for a moment. She thought about the many hours they had spent together by the lake and the stories they had shared. She thought about her eyes, and the way they seemed to change color throughout the day. She thought about her smile which she so rarely got to see, and only when they were alone, like she was saving it for her. While she considered all these things, she couldn't help the smile that spread on her face. This didn't go unnoticed by Octavia or Bellamy.

"Judging by that smile I'd say you feel pretty good?" Octavia tilted her head at her friend and smiled.

"Yeah. She's pretty amazing," Clarke said, still lost in her thoughts.

"Amazing? I'd say she's pretty fucking scary, but whatever floats your goat," Bellamy chuckled.

"Yeah, but you don't know her like I do, Bell. It may sound cliché and gross, but it's true. She'd kill me if she heard me tell you this, probably you too, but she's not as heartless as she wants people to believe. She has feelings, memories and things that matter to her. She's not that different from us. Except the fact that she could probably kill us with a simple look."

"I'd say you're pretty into her. You should tell her," Octavia said.

"Are you crazy? She's the commander; she would never go for someone like me."

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way she looks at you? She probably thinks she's being subtle, but I can be pretty observant," Octavia said smugly.

"There's also the fact that you're the only one who calls her Lexa, and she lets you," Bellamy contributed.

Clarke looked at her friends and considered the things they were saying. They had been getting closer lately. Now that she thought about it, she had gotten away with many things. Like that one time they were training and she accidentally fired an arrow at Lexa. It only grazed her arm, but she was sure they were going to kill her for it. Lexa, however, just put a bandage on it and continued shooting. What was the worst thing that could happen if she told her? There was the one outcome where she got rejected and had to move far, far away because she would be too embarrassed to stay. Or Lexa actually liked her back and they would live happily ever after.  
_Piece of cake, right?_

"You guys really think she likes me?" Clarke sounded unsure and hesitant.

"Yesss. Why wouldn't she? You're smart, kind, funny, not as funny as me, but still. In addition, you're hot as hell. You know, if I ever had to pick a girl," Octavia reassured her.

"Yeah, just tell her how you feel. If she says no, then at least you tried. It's better than what if, right?" Bellamy said raising his eyebrows.

Clarke looked back and forth between the Blake siblings. They were really good at this group pressure thing.

"Okay, fine. I'll try and talk to her. But I make no promises," Clarke said, giving in.

"Yesss!" Octavia exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air, "I am totally rooting for you guys. You would be the ultimate power-couple. I am so excited."

Bellamy just started chuckling and Clarke joined in.

The darkness had settled once again when Clarke went to visit Lexa. As she waited for the guards to let her enter, Nyko came through the furs hanging at the entrance. They gave each other a nod of acknowledgement before Clarke entered and Nyko went on his way.

When Clarke walked into the room, Lexa was just dragging down her undershirt. She wasn't wearing any armor or weapons and Clarke had never seen her look so young and innocent. The gash on her arm was no longer visible, but hidden by a cloth and some bandage Nyko probably got from Clarke's mother. There were bruises and cuts all over Lexa's body, but she didn't seem to mind.

"How's your arm?" Clarke asked.

"Hurts," was all Lexa answered. Clarke nodded and figured that was all she would get on the subject.

"What did Indra want?"

"She just wanted to talk about some new scouting points and surveillance routes she found."

"Any news from your scouts?"

"No."

Clarke nodded and there was an awkward silence. There was a nervous atmosphere and none of them knew quite what to say.

"Octavia's training with Indra is going good," Clarke said, trying to ease the tension.

"That's good; Indra speaks very positively about her. She will be a great warrior."

"Yeah, I think she really found her calling here."

"The Trigedakru is lucky to have her. She has an exceptional spirit," Lexa smiled.

They stood in silence for a while again, until Clarke finally decided to approach the subject that had plagued her mind ever since it happened.

"Listen, about earlier, I-"

"No it's ok, as you said, I was freaking out and you did what you felt would help. It was a distraction, it's fine," Lexa cut her off before she could finish. She didn't really want to hear Clarke talking about how it was just trying to help.

"No. I mean yes, it was. At first," Clarke said, trying her best to look Lexa in the eyes. "Then I realized that maybe I, you know," Clarke paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "_wanted_ to kiss you."

Clarke had a hard time maintaining eye contact now. Lexa was impossible to read as usual, and Clarke wondered if she had just fucked up big time.

Lexa on the other hand was screaming internally. Clarke wanted to kiss her. Clarke Griffin of the Sky people. In her excitement, she almost forgot about her number one rule.  
_Almost.  
_Before she could say anything Clarke was speaking again.

"I know you probably don't feel the same, it's just that Octavia and Bellamy were saying all these things and they really made sense, you know. Then I thought, just because we're leaders doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to enjoy the finer things in life, and you definitely are. So even if you don't-"

"I do," Lexa cut her off again, "feel the same."

"What?"

"I didn't think I could, not after Costia. Then you literally fell out of the sky. You have intrigued me ever since Anya first mentioned you. I would love nothing more than to pursue a relationship with you, but primarily I am the commander. My people are my priority. Love is-"

"-weakness. Yeah, you mentioned," Clarke interrupted. "It doesn't have to be though. Besides, we don't know what the future holds. Right now I just know that I'd like to kiss you."

Lexa took a deep breath. Could she do this? Throw caution to the wind and do what was best for _her_? She had done that once, and had ended up with her love's head in a box.  
_She's not Costia. Clarke is a warrior, she can fight. _

Making up her mind, Lexa decided to throw caution to the wind. As Clarke said, they didn't know what the future would bring. Maybe it would just be this kiss and that was it. She slowly stepped up to stand opposite of Clarke.

"Maybe you're right," she said, looking at Clarke's lips.

Clarke's heart was beating faster when she figured out what was happening. Lexa was now holding her cheek, bringing their heads together, and then their lips met once again. It started out slow and tentative, but as they got more comfortable, it got hungrier and more daring. Hands started to roam as Clarke backed them up to the table behind Lexa.

"Oh shit!"

They broke apart as soon as they heard the intruder. Clarke's head whipped around and saw Octavia standing there with wide eyes and a shit-eating grin. _Of course_, she thought, _who else_?

"I am so sorry-"

"No you're not." Clarke deadpanned.

"No. I just wanted to come and tell you we're starting an impromptu football game, grounders vs skaikru. I know how much you love it. However, I see you're pretty busy so I'll just," she pointed to the entrance and started to turn around, stifling a laugh.

"American or English?" Clarke asked.

"English," Octavia answered and left.

"You want to go, don't you?" Lexa asked, smiling at Clarke.

"Well, yeah. I don't have to though, if you want to talk or something."

"We can talk later. I am curious as to what exactly 'football' is, and why you like it so much."

"Really? Oh, you're in for a treat," Clarke grinned and all but dragged Lexa outside.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I am so sorry it took so long. I've had little to no inspiration and I didn't want to put out a half-assed chapter. I'll try and not let this happen again, hope you enjoy:)

They didn't get that talk after the game. Lexa was busy with consultation after consultation with Indra. Clarke was helping her mother train Nyko and the younger healers on how to use their medical equipment, and vice versa. Suddenly it was three days later, and Gustus came bearing word from their scouts in the north. Lexa had gathered a small council in the war room consisting of Indra, Clarke, Kane, Abby, Gustus, Enassa, the chief of the Desert clan, and herself.

"Gustus, tell us what you heard," Lexa started.

"Our scouts in the north have reported back. They have heard that the Ice Queen is not happy with the alliance and wish to challenge the commander for her power. They have also heard rumors of a spy in our camp, a traitor from the Trigedakru. Unfortunately, they found one of ours when he ventured to close. We need to get ready for war, _Heda_," Gustus said, looking at Lexa.

"I think you are right Gustus. The Ice Nation has never been an obedient clan. There is no way we can change their minds with diplomatic chats, and now they have drawn blood. _Jus drein, jus daun_. The reason I have gathered you all here is that we need to unite our people and get them ready. We need them to be willing to fight and die for each other. The Desert clan have agreed to help us both in preparations and they will aid us in any way they can during the fighting."

"What about the traitor? How do we find out who it is?" Kane asked.

"Enassa and I have sent Octavia and Caris out to listen for anything that can lead us to them. I am certain that if anyone notices any suspicious behavior they will let us know as well," Indra answered.

"Good. We need to start training the sky people immediately. We will put our best warriors to the task and hopefully your people are able to keep up," Lexa said, looking at Clarke.

"We will be ready," Clarke nodded.

"As for the traitor, leave that to us. You need to focus on training for now."

"What will you do with them? And what is our plan after they're caught?" Abby chimed in.

"Indra, Gustus and I will discuss vantage points and strategy and get back to you," Lexa answered her.

"I think we should be in on these discussions, we are risking our lives for you after all," Abby crossed her arms and looked towards Lexa.

"Mom, you-" Clarke started, but was cut off by Lexa.

"And we appreciate your help, but we know these woods better than you ever will. We will figure out the best plan of attack, and then we will tell you where to be and what to do."

"That sounds good, commander," Kane said.

"The Ice Nation will no doubt be a ruthless and intelligent enemy, but with our combined forces I believe we can win this fight. Council dismissed."

With that, everyone started leaving to get ready for his or her given tasks. Abby would continue to work with the healers, Indra and Enassa were in charge of the traitor and the others would help prepare for the fighting.

Lexa was looking at the different maps laying on the table in front of her, and Clarke was walking towards her.

"You really think we can win this thing?"

"I do. The Ice Nation isn't as familiar with the woods as we are, and they don't have guns. I don't really understand why they choose to attack when we clearly have the upper hand," Lexa said, giving Clarke a half-smile.

"Good."

There was a moment of silence after that. Lexa was still studying the maps and they were both enjoying the other's company, having spent so many days away from each other. Clarke tried doing the same thing, but couldn't really focus.

"We never got that talk," Clarke said, still looking down at the maps.

"You're right."

"Well, now might be a good a time as any, right?" Clarke asked, finally looking at Lexa.

"I guess so," Lexa didn't take her eyes off the maps.

"Look, you kissed me. You kissed me, so you don't get to ignore me. If you don't want to talk about this, or if _this,"_ Clarke said, gesturing between them "was only that one kiss, then you need to tell me. Don't just push me away. Don't be a coward."

"We're going to war, Clarke. That's why we haven't talked, because we are actually planning a war, where people will die."

"Exactly!" Clarke exclaimed. "We don't know who will live or die. We don't know if _we_ will live or die. Can't we just enjoy ourselves the time we have left? If we get out of this alive then great! If not, then I would like to die knowing I spent my last few days the best way I can think of right now. With you."

Lexa finally looked at Clarke.

"Don't we deserve that? To spend what might be our last days doing what we want? Haven't we already been over this?"

"And what if you die, Clarke?"

The look in Lexa's eyes took Clarke by surprise. Lexa still wouldn't let her guard completely down around her, but there were moments, like now, where she would show a fragment of feeling. Lexa was scared.  
Lexa was scared and Clarke's heart broke.

"Yes, what if I do? What if I die and you have to spend the rest of your life wondering what if? What if you had taken a chance on me? What if you let yourself feel for me?" Clarke asked.

"I already have," Lexa whispered, not sure if Clarke even heard her, or if she wanted her to.

"Then why are you still fighting this?" Clarke took a step towards Lexa as her voice rose in volume. "If you do have feelings for me then why don't you just accept that? Don't you think life should be about more than just surviving? Don't we deserve that?"

Could Lexa really take this chance? She was getting tired of having this conversation with herself, but still couldn't seem to make up her mind. Even though she knew that the few kisses they had shared would never be enough she still questioned the situation. She had no doubt Clarke was a good warrior, but The Ice Nation was an unpredictable enemy. They were deceitful and conniving. Their queen, who Lexa had yet to meet for some reason, was ruthless. Lexa herself had that reputation among the clans, but the ice queen was at a whole other level. The stories going around even made Lexa shudder.

Then there was Clarke. Too good for this awful, war-ridden world. She wasn't perfect, far from it, but to Lexa she was magnificent.

"Maybe you're right," Lexa said and gently pulled Clarke towards her and connected their lips once again. They didn't stop until they were both out of breath and had to pull back.

"Wow," Clarke said, "that was better than expected."

"Yeah," Lexa grinned.

"_Heda_, you are needed with Nyko." Lexa's guard seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Yes, thank you," she answered, "I will see you later, Clarke." With that, she left.

The hunting party that had gone out that morning returned sometime after the council meeting and a feast was prepared. They had informed everyone about the coming war, and the majority were ready to fight. They decided to let everyone unwind today, before starting at first light tomorrow with the training. Grounders and Sky people sat as one and everyone was eating, joking and laughing. Never before had they looked more like one people, rather than two separate clans living together. Clarke and Lexa, of course, sat next to each other. Surrounding them was Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, Bellamy, Jasper and Monty. The latter had brought his own special brew, and he and Jasper had already started showing the effects. The others were merely sipping their own cups, deciding to take it easy so they were ready for training. At least they tried until Raven suggested they play Never have I ever. Lexa was confused and didn't understand, but when Clarke explained it to her she immediately agreed, much to everyone's surprise.

"Okay, I'll start. Never have I ever been walked in on," Octavia said. Both Bellamy and Raven took a sip.

"And it was not a pleasant experience," Monty said.

"Wait, with each other?"

At that, Monty just nodded slowly while looking in to the fire, and everyone laughed.

"My turn," Monty said, "never have I ever wanted to have sex with someone around this fire."

Everyone except Monty took a sip.

"Uhh, commander?" Raven asked, "please tell me who."

"That is not the game, Raven," Lexa said smirking.

"Who knew," Raven mused.

They took turns like this, getting drunker and drunker, learning new things about each other. Raven was most interested in whatever Lexa had done and almost fainted when she learned that she had actually had a threesome. Monty had accidentally come out and Bellamy admitted to having made out with a boy.

Bellamy, Jasper and Octavia were currently singing an old drinking song they had learned on the Ark, and Raven was still trying to get Lexa to tell her who she wanted to have sex with. Clarke was talking to Monty about his secret crush on Nathan Miller.

"Come on, commander! Just tell me. Wait, is it me? Is that why you won't say?" Raven asked.

"No, Raven, it's not you." Lexa was drunk, but not drunk enough to spill all her secrets. This was not the ideal way for a commander to behave, but she was having fun, and she was young.

"Damn," Raven said. "Please tell me it's not Jasper."

"It's not Jasper either," Lexa chuckled.

"So Miller, huh?" Clarke asked.

Monty just blushed and found the ground more interesting than it actually was.

"I get it, he's pretty cute. Does he like you?"

"No, I don't know. Probably not," Monty answered.

"Some people might surprise you," Clarke said, looking around for Lexa, who was nowhere to be seen. "Excuse me, Monty," she said and got up.

Raven was playing with a stick in the fire when Clarke approached her.

"Hey Raven, where's Lexa?"

"No idea. She just left, said something about a lake though."

"A lake? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why?"

Before Raven could even finish her sentence, Clarke was gone.

"Rude," she said and continued playing with the fire.

When Clarke arrived at the lake Lexa had already started a fire. She had taken of her armor and her sword was laying at her side.

"So a threesome, huh?" Clarke said as she neared Lexa.

"You're here. I was hoping you would get the hint," Lexa smiled.

"Next time, don't trust Raven with such information. For all we know she could be lurking in the woods as we speak."

"I doubt it. She's even louder than you are."

"Rude," Clarke said and playfully slapped Lexa's shoulder.

"I had fun tonight. You're friends are very-"

"-loud? Annoying, rude, intrusive?"

"Interesting. They're fun," Lexa said.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Why did you want to come here though?" Clarke asked.

"It's the only place I get to keep you for myself," Lexa answered and intertwined their fingers.

They stayed like that, holding hands, talking about simple things. Lexa told their stories about the stars and Clarke returned the favor, telling the stories she had learned on the Ark. They told each other stories they had heard about the old world, and about myths and prophesies. Suddenly the sun was rising.

"Do you think we would've met if the world didn't end? If everything was still the same?" Clarke asked.

"I'd like to think so," Lexa answered and turned to look at Clarke.

They both leaned in and their lips met soon after. The kiss was soft, needy and relaxed, all at the same time. Clarke's hands found their way to Lexa's hair as she adjusted herself to a more comfortable position.

"_Heda!"_

They broke apart, and Clarke sighed.

"We can never catch a break."

"Patience Clarke," Lexa said as she got up to greet the man.

"You are needed back at camp, it is urgent," he said, a little out of breath, he probably ran all the way.

"Thank you," she nodded at him and he left. "Duty calls," she said and put her armor back on. When she turned to leave Clarke grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She drew her in for a deep kiss before letting her go.

"Now we can go."

The closer they got to camp the more they recognized the sounds. Yelling. Lots and lots of yelling. Mostly in Trigedasleng, but also some in English. One was being yelled the most. _Natrona._ Upon hearing this word Lexa's face hardened. Clarke quickly realized that her Lexa was gone, and Commander Lexa had taken her place.

"What is it? What does it mean?" she asked.

"It means traitor," Lexa answered, and had already started walking faster.

As they walked through the gates, Indra greeted them.

"What is happening?" Lexa asked.

"Octavia and Caris apprehended the traitor. They are holding him as we speak. There is something you should know, commander. It's Raco," Indra said, a hard expression on her face.

"Thank you Indra."

When Indra had left, Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I should have known," she said.

"How could you have known? Who is he?" Clarke asked.

"He is one of our builders. He always wanted to be a warrior, but he was never good enough. He has always been bitter about that."

"What are you going to do to him?"

"You know what we are going to do. Blood must have blood. He may not have killed our scouts himself, but we do not know what he has told the Ice queen. He is responsible for their deaths," Lexa answered.

"They? I though Gustus said only one?" Clarke furrowed her brows.

"There have been others. Before. Come now, we must go talk to him."

With that, Lexa started walking towards where Raco would be. Clarke stayed behind, going over what was about to happen. She didn't necessarily agree with their ways, but she knew she had to join. If she were to stay away it could be perceived as weakness by the grounders, so she made her way there as well.

"_Teik em set raun ona tri_," she heard as she approached. Octavia and Caris all but dragged the man to the tree and tied him up. Lexa was standing in front of him. Her face was void of any emotion, and if Clarke didn't know any better she would be a little scared.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Lexa asked in Trigedasleng. Raco was not a warrior so he didn't know any English. Octavia, being the helpful friend she was, was kind enough to translate for the others.

Raco didn't answer, instead deciding to spit in Lexa's face. She turned around and nodded at Gustus, who stepped up and took the first slice, on Raco's upper arm. Then a few others did the same, placing their knives on different parts of his body and making a cut. Raco was clearly in pain and Lexa decided to try again.

"What have you told The Ice Nation?"

"Everything," he sneered, a mixture of blood and spit flying out of his mouth.

"What are their plans?"

When he didn't say any more Lexa stepped back, and several grounders took their turns slicing. Most of the sky people who had gathered around had left, not able to watch any more. Deciding to give the man a break once again, Lexa stepped up in front of him.

"Are you working with anyone?"

"No. It's just me." Raco had a pained expression on his face, and decided to give Lexa what she wanted. He wasn't trained to withstand torture and he had held out longer than anyone had thought.

"Why are they attacking? When?" Lexa showed no mercy.

"The queen wasn't happy hearing about your decision to make an alliance with the sky people and wants to eliminate them. She is not happy with your leadership. They attack as soon as they have set up another camp, a little north from here."

Satisfied with getting her answers Lexa turned around and nodded at Indra, who in turn nodded at Octavia. Octavia raised her head, took a deep breath and went to stand in front of the man. She lifted her knife and made a long, deep cut down Raco's left arm. She stepped back, receiving another nod from Indra, who now took her turn. This continued once again, a slightly bigger group this time.

"Should we take a turn as well?" Bellamy asked over the screams.

"I guess it would gain us a few points," Clarke answered.

Bellamy nodded and took out his knife. He immediately got in line, and Clarke went after him. She looked back at Lexa and thought she could see a hint of a smile. The others around them gave them an appreciative nod, and Clarke realized that maybe this would give them major points. It would certainly show that they were serious about this alliance, and willing to go along with their way of living.

Bellamy had taken his turn and Clarke was up. She looked at the man standing there, full of blood and cuts all over his body. He had stopped screaming and just let out a strained breath every time someone made a new wound. She placed her knife on his right shoulder and put pressure on it. As she saw the skin separate she tried not to grimace, but she was sure she didn't hide it that well.

Even though she didn't agree with this way of bringing justice she knew she had to accept it. They had been doing this for who knows how long, and it seemed to work for them. This was only she second one she'd seen in the time they'd been there.

Everyone had now taken their turn and Lexa stepped up again. She unsheathed her sword and looked at Raco.

"Anything else you want to share?" she asked, her voice cold.

"Yeah. Your sister says hello."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am so sorry for taking so long. Life has been crazy and gotten really in the way lately, but now I have finished my finals and will soon have lots of free time. I hope that I will be able to write more then. Thank you for being patient with me, and an even bigger thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites! You all have a special place in my heart.**

"_Yu gonplei ste odon_," Lexa said and drove her sword through his chest.

Clarke had never seen Lexa like that, much less heard her like that. The tone of her voice sent shivers down Clarke's spine, and not the good kind. The grounders and Octavia all wore matching shocked expressions, and Clarke was so confused.

"O, what did he say?" she asked, trying to get Octavia's attention. "Octavia?" she tried again. Getting impatient, she sighed, stepped in front of Octavia and shook her shoulders. "Octavia Blake, what did he say?" she said, enunciating each word.

"Your sister says hello," Octavia answered absentmindedly, finally looking at Clarke. A flash of recognition went over Clarke's face and Octavia raised an eyebrow.

"What? What do you know?" she asked.

"I'm not allowed to tell you, just know that it makes everything so much more complicated," Clarke answered, earning her a puzzled look from Octavia.

People started going back to their usual business and the body was already being cut down and carried away.

"I want the council in the war room, immediately," Lexa said while leaving, followed by Gustus.

Clarke said a quick goodbye to the others, and joined the rest of the council.

"I am sure you are all aware of what has been revealed. It appears that The Ice Nation's queen is my sister. This has no effect on our plans. This does not change anything. We will continue as planned and take down this threat once and for all." Lexa's face showed no emotion and no one dared to question her. "I want everyone to train harder and work faster so we can get this over with as fast as possible. The Ice Nation is to be eliminated."

"You can't just kill all of them. There are innocent people. And children!" Abby interjected.

"A child can be just as dangerous, chancellor Griffin," Lexa growled.

"Maybe she's right though," Clarke said. "There has to be someone who doesn't agree with what she's doing, right? I mean, there's always someone who disagrees with you, but they trust and follow you because you are their leader. Some are even scared of you. There's a very little chance everyone is doing this for the same reasons as her."

Clarke had some good points; Lexa knew that. She also knew she had to make this decision with her head, not her heart. Indra had already voiced her concern about some of the decisions she had made based on Clarke's wishes and thoughts. On one hand, some of the Ice Nation's people were most likely innocent and had no choice but to join their leader in this fight. On the other hand, they had no way of knowing who was lying and who was telling the truth. Anyone could claim to be on Lexa's side and before she knew it, there would be a dagger in her back. She also didn't know how the rest of her people would react if they were to bring Ice people into their camps. Sure, they were okay with it when they were living up north, out of their way, but if they had to live side by side? Lexa didn't know if that would work. It was hard enough to convince them to accept Clarke and her people.

"You will have your answer soon. First, I will discuss this issue with my advisors. Please excuse us."

Everyone but Gustus, Enassa and Indra left the room, Kane and Abby silently discussing with each other. Clarke's pleading eyes met Lexa's for a brief second but the latter quickly looked away, and Clarke left.

"_Heda_, you know wh-" Indra started, but before she could finish Lexa interrupted her.

"Before we start this discussion I want to ask you to look at this objectively. It does not matter who brought it up or who wants what. We will talk about both sides and come to the best, most logical agreement, for all parts." She shot a pointed look at Indra, who nodded in response. "Now, we know very little about how the Ice Nation is being ruled. All we have are stories. These may or may not be true, so I don't think we can take them too seriously, but we also need to consider them when figuring this out."

"Do we know anything at all about the queen?" Enassa asked, looking at the other people in the room.

"I only know what she was like in the few months before she left," Indra said and looked cautiously at Lexa. She knew that the commander wouldn't show any emotion concerning the topic of her sister, but she also knew it was a very sore subject for Lexa. She was never quite sure if the girl had really gotten over the loss of her sister, and now suddenly she was back. Still, Lexa's face didn't betray the feelings she may or may not have, and Indra felt a sense of pride and respect for the commander. She found herself drawing strength from the young girl many times, and this was one of them. Her own anger was boiling beneath the surface, and she was trying her hardest to keep it under control.

"Or pretended to be like," Lexa added.

"We don't even know what she looks like. None of our scouts have been able to get close enough to identify their leader. Do you think you would recognize her if you saw her?" Gustus asked, his eyes shifting between Indra and Lexa.

"I don't think I would," Indra answered.

"She has a scar across her left eyebrow," Lexa said. "You can't miss it once you get close enough."

"Can we risk you getting that close? You'll most likely be killed before you even reach her," Indra voiced her concern.

"Perhaps, but that is a chance I'm willing to take. And who knows, maybe she wants to kill me herself," Lexa said.

Clarke was observing the training going on when Raven and Octavia approached her.

"So, how's the commander doing?" Octavia asked.

"How would I know?"

"Come on, Clarke. We do have eyes you know. You guys are totally making lesbian babies together," Raven said.

"Sorry to disappoint, Raven, but nothing is happening," Clarke answered.

"I beg to differ," Octavia said, raising her hand. "Do I need to remind you of a little get together in-"

"Do not. Even." Clarke cut her off.

"Do not what? Guys, come on. Tell me."

"Octavia, don't."

"I would never," Octavia said, and mouthed _later_ to Raven the moment Clarke looked away.

"Anyone else hungry?" Raven asked.

"Yeah, let's go eat. Clarke?" Octavia said, looking at Clarke who nodded and they started walking.

After getting enough food for the three of them to share, they sat down by some tables placed directly across the open space in front of the war room.

"How long have they been in there? What are they even talking about?" Octavia asked and motioned towards the giant hut.

"Too long. My patience is running out," Clarke answered. "They're deciding the fate of the Ice Nation, whether their people get to live or not."

"Anyone ever tell them they're incredibly dramatic?" Raven chimed in. "I mean, deciding whether they get to live or not? The fact that not one of them actually shows any kind of emotion? In addition, their crazy outfits that they have actually bedazzled. Have you seen Lexa's gloves? It even has pink on it."

Both Clarke and Octavia frowned at her.

"What? I'm good at noticing things," Raven mumbled and shrugged.

The two other girls just shook their heads and went back to eating.

This meeting was taking too long and Lexa was getting tired. They were nowhere near coming to a solution they all agreed to. She knew she could put a stop to it and just decide something, but she wanted to make this decision as democratic as possible. Maybe Clarke had influenced her more than she'd like to admit. Shaking unwanted thoughts out of her head, she tuned back in to the discussion going on in front of her.

"I do not know what people born from ice will do in the desert, but if I can find a use for them, I can probably bring back a few," Enassa said.

"Is it a possibility for them to go back north?" Gustus asked.

"I do not want any inhabitants up there. It is too far away for us to keep control. I do not want to risk something like this happening again," Lexa answered.

"Then what do we do?" Indra asked.

"We compromise. Anyone who gets in our way and tries to stop us will pay with their life, and the rest will join us. Any objections?" Lexa looked at all of them.

"That sounds like a wise plan, _heda_," Gustus answered, and both Indra and Enassa nodded.

"It's decided then. Gustus, would you please gather the rest of the council?" Lexa asked, looking at Gustus.

"Of course," he answered and walked outside.

Clarke, Octavia and Raven was still in the same spot when Gustus exited the hut. The two latter were talking about how Raven had feelings for Bellamy and how gross Octavia thought it was. Clarke was only half following the conversation, instead focusing on the hut across the yard. She was getting really tired of waiting and the second she saw Gustus she was out of her seat. She quickly gathered her things, muttered a fast apology to the others, and all but ran over to the hut. Her mother and Kane had also waited nearby and was following closely behind. As soon as they had settled around the table, Lexa started speaking.

"I want to make this conversation as quick as possible. We do not have time to discuss details, but we have made to a decision concerning the innocent. The ones who do not come in our way will not be harmed. If they do try to stop us however, we will not be merciful."

"What will happen to those who live?" Abby asked.

"They will join our clans. No one is to stay up north."

"Will they be split? Or will everyone join one clan?" Abby spoke up again.

"Like I said, we do not have time to discuss the specifics, but they will most likely be split."

"That sounds good, Commander. Thank you for taking the time to consider our views," Kane said and gave her a grateful nod.

"We are in alliance after all. I trust you all to keep the details of our plans inside this room, as we cannot be sure that there are no more traitors among us. We cannot risk anything. Thank you all, this meeting is now over," Lexa said and walked out.

The rest of the grounders also walked out, leaving Clarke, Kane and Abby, the latter looking less than pleased.

"Are we just going to settle for that? Where are these people going to live? Who is going to take them in?" Abby said, crossing her arms.

"Come on, mom," Clarke gave her mother a tired look. "They took our questions in to consideration. They agreed to let the innocent people live when they could've just ignored it and killed everyone. You know that's what they most likely would've done if we weren't here. You need to give them a bit more credit than you do now. They're not that bad."

"She's right, Abby. A hostile attitude will not help anyone," Kane said and took a step towards her.

"I know, Marcus. I just don't trust them."

"But I do," Clarke exclaimed. "You trust me, don't you?"

Abby sighed and looked at Clarke for a few seconds. "I do."

"Then trust me when I say they're good people. Yeah, they are violent and they kill, but who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things. They know how this world works. If they didn't, they wouldn't have survived for so long," Clarke looked at Abby with hopeful eyes.

"Fine," she said, after a long pause. "If you believe they're good then I trust you. I will behave."

"Thank you," Clarke mumbled while hugging her mother. When she let go she murmured a quick goodbye and walked outside.

"You did the right thing, Abby," Kane said.

"I hope so," she answered and looked towards the entrance where her daughter had just been.

When Clarke got outside, she was almost run down by Octavia.

"Are they done? How did it go? Do they get to live? When are we attacking?" Octavia fired questions at Clarke faster than she could think.

"Calm down, O. Yes, they're done and yes, they get to live. The obedient ones at least." Clarke started walking away from the hut.

"What do you mean the obedient ones? What's the plan of attack?" Octavia continued, following her.

"I'm not allowed to tell you anything. You'll know when you get orders. Now, please excuse me, I have to go talk to Lexa about something," Clarke said and stopped walking.

"Oh, I didn't know that's where you were going. I don't want to keep you from your lady-business," Octavia raised her hands and started walking backwards slowly. "Say hello to commander heart-eyes for me," she grinned. Clarke wasn't sure whether to be confused or annoyed, so she settled on raising her middle finger to the girl.

"Hey, save that for the commander," Octavia laughed and turned around.

"Oh my god," Clarke mumbled and started walking towards Lexa's hut.

Lexa had taken off her armor and was sitting on her throne, thinking about the recent events when Clarke walked in. She knew Clarke pretty well by know and wasn't surprised to her. She was actually very pleased.

"Hi," Clarke started hesitantly.

"Hello, Clarke," Lexa gave her a small smile.

"How are you?" Clarke asked. "And please be honest."

Lexa let out a sigh and looked at the ground in front of her. "Honestly, I am not quite sure. I'm not very good at recognizing feeling or talking about them. I'm not even sure everything has caught up with me yet."

"Would it be easier if I just asked you questions? Or do you not want to talk about it? That would be okay too. I mean, I would love to know what you're thinking, but it's more important that you're comfortable," Clarke said.

"That would be easier, yes. You know, Costia used to do that too. You are very much alike. I think you would've liked her. I know she would have loved you," Lexa said, laughing weakly.

As Clarke looked at Lexa, she could feel her heart breaking. Never before had she seen her so worn out. Clarke had no idea what was going on inside her head, but for once Lexa seemed open to talk about it. She was not going to waste this opportunity, and had to consider her questions carefully. Clarke was afraid that if she made one wrong move, Lexa would shut down again. Seeing as she had already mentioned Costia she figured that would be a good place to start.

"Did Costia know your sister?"

Lexa shook her head. "No. Ayandra left only a few months before Costia arrived."

"Where did she come from, and why did she come here?"

"The shore. She was part of the River clan. Indra came about a year earlier and decided to stay, so she had Costia come too," Lexa answered.

Clarke frowned at this. "Why would-" she started, but cut herself off as it clicked in her head. "Oh my god. Costia was Indra's daughter?" Lexa just nodded.

Everything made sense now. Indra's behavior and anger, her protectiveness over Lexa, their close relationship. Indra had lost a daughter, and that daughter had been Lexa's girlfriend. Now, Lexa's presumed dead sister was back, and she was the one who killed Costia. That still hadn't settled with Clarke, so she couldn't even imagine what it was like for Lexa. Her own sister had killed her lover just to spite her. Clarke did not understand how either of them was as calm as they were during the meeting. That was just one of the things she admired about these people.

"How old were you when your sister left?" Clarke asked and motioned to the bed, asking permission to sit there.

Lexa nodded and decided to join her. "I was 11 summers. I had just turned 12 when I met Costia."

"When did she die?" Clarke knew she might be pushing limits here, but Lexa made no indication for her to stop.

"We had four summers together. I became commander at 16, and she was taken a few months after that."

Clarke noticed that Lexa was swallowing more and more, and grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. That earned her a small smile. "Do you want me to stop asking?"

"No, it's fine. It's better to get it all out now, than have to wait."

"Okay, tell me when?" Clarke asked and Lexa nodded. "How do you feel about your sister being the queen?"

"Angry. Restless. Confused," she took a short breath before continuing," hurt."

"Do you know why you feel these things?" Clarke had to admit it would've been easier if Lexa could just tell her these things, but she understood that it was hard. With every question, her fear of overstepping grew. Even though Lexa said it was okay she was still wary of what to ask.

"I'm angry because of all the things she's done. I have been since I was 16. Restless because I want to be done with this. I am confused and hurt because I don't understand why. She was my big sister, my family. She was supposed to help and guide me, not crush me into a thousand pieces. She murdered the first girl I ever loved, because I loved her." Lexa's voice was small, and Clarke could see her eyes filling with water. "Costia was so sweet. She never hurt anyone, not willingly at least. She was too good and I should've accepted that. Instead I pursued her and that got her killed." The tears were now falling slowly down her cheeks, and Clarke could feel her own eyes watering. "I got her killed. I took Costia's life and Indra's happiness. Me. It was my fault."

Lexa let out a strangled sob, and Clarke decided it was enough questions for today. She let go of Lexa's hand and brought her arms around her instead. She was a little surprised when Lexa did the same and relaxed into her body, releasing muffled sobs now and then.

"Lexa, it was not your fault. You didn't drive the knife into her. You didn't know that would happen, nobody did. Nobody blames you either. Definitely not Indra. I've seen how she acts around you, and it's not the behavior of someone who blames you for anything. I see nothing but respect, and she would most likely kill me of she heard this, but I'm pretty sure she loves you."

"I'm the commander, she has to respect me."

"Not like that. You're her family, Lexa. You might not think so, but that's what I choose to believe."

They just sat there after that, holding each other. Clarke felt her heart ache for the other woman. She had been through so much in only a few years and just when she thought she'd gotten past it, it all blew up in her face again.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this, Clarke. It doesn't happen very often. Never unless I'm alone, but I'm glad you came," Lexa said after a long silence.

"Thank you for opening up and letting me in. I know that is very hard for you."

"I want you to know Lexa the person, not just the commander," Lexa said looking at her hands. "I'm sorry if this is a lot to ask after all this, but will you stay with me tonight? I don't really feel like being all alone."

"Of course I will. And please know that you can ask me anything, anytime."

"Thank you, Clarke. For everything." The sincerity in her voice surprised Clarke. Everything? She didn't feel like she had done much at all.

"What do you mean 'everything'?" she asked.

"For helping me talk about this, staying with me." Lexa sat up so she was facing Clarke. "For making me believe that love might not be weakness after all," she lifted her head and their eyes met. It did not take long for their lips to meet as well.

One of the first things Clarke noticed when she walked outside the next morning was Octavia's smirking face a few meters in front of her.

"Be quiet, nothing happened," she said as she walked past her. "Also, are you stalking me? You seem to always be around."

Octavia sped up a little to catch up to Clarke. "Nah, I just have impeccable timing. So you spent the night with the commander?" she asked and wiggled her eyebrows.

"It's not what you think. We didn't do anything, just slept."

"Still, you were in her bed. With her. Does she sleep like she's in a coffin? Like, not moving? I feel like she does." Octavia mused.

"Actually she's a very cuddly sleeper, wouldn't leave me alone. Not that I mind," Clarke said and Octavia's jaw slacked.

"Are you joking? Please tell me you're not joking."

"It's true. Don't tell her I told you though," Clarke laughed.

"It will be my best kept secret," Octavia said proudly.


	8. Chapter 8

"Octavia, stop," Clarke tried, but Octavia did not listen. "Octavia, I'm trying to concentrate!" she tried again, and swatted at Octavia's foot.

"Are you done soon? I'm bored."

"Soon," Clarke answered while smudging out another line on the paper in front of her. She had been trying to draw Octavia for about an hour, but the girl was as still as a fleeing mouse, so it was quite the challenge. Her patience was also running out which made it even more difficult. To cater to her boredom she had taken off her boot and was shoving her foot in Clarke's face. There was about ten minutes of silence before it was back.

"Octavia, seriously."

"What? Does it smell?" Octavia grinned.

"It smells like a foot, only worse because it's yours."

"How soon are you done? Can I see?" Octavia asked.

"You do know it takes longer when you keep interrupting me, right? I just have a few finishing touches left, please be still."

"Ugh, fine," Octavia sighed, but kept still. There was a few minutes of silence before Octavia spoke again, "are you sleeping in your own bed tonight?"

"And I'm done," Clarke put her charcoal down and turned the paper around.

"Holy shit, Clarke. That's amazing; how the fuck do you do that?" Octavia exclaimed and grabbed the paper to get a closer look. The details were astounding. Her braids, her jacket, the remnants of her face paint. Even though Octavia knew Clarke was talented, it always blew her mind when she saw her new drawings.

"You know, just some lines here and there."

"Can I keep this?"

"Of course," Clarke smiled.

"I'll be right back," Octavia said, throwing on her boot and flew out the door, with the drawing, all before Clarke could even comprehend what was happening. That girl had no chill.

It wasn't long before Octavia was back, but Clarke had already managed to put all her supplies in her bag. They had decided to do the drawing in Octavia and Lincoln's hut. It was situated a bit further away from the rest, giving them a little privacy.

"Where did you go?" Clarke asked.

"I just wanted to show Lincoln. He kept it," Octavia answered and put down the bowl she had brought. "I got us some dried meat, thought we could talk a bit. Raven's also coming soon."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" Clarke asked.

"I don't know. I just thought since we've all been so busy lately it would be nice to catch up. I would've done it while you did the drawing, but I wasn't allowed to talk," Octavia trailed off.

"Okay. How are you and Lincoln doing? Any decisions on marriage?" Clarke asked.

"We're doing pretty great. We're not sure if we want to do it before or after this Ice Nation thing settles. I think I want to do it before, because, you know, we might die and all. I think he wants to do it after though. Something about wanting to enjoy it. I don't know," Octavia shrugged.

"Knowing Lincoln you'll probably get your way no matter what," Clarke laughed.

"Yeah," Octavia chuckled. "You know, I've been meaning to ask. What exactly is going on with you and the commander?"

Clarke sighed. She should've known it was coming. "I don't think she'd appreciate us talking about it."

"Come on, Clarke. It's me," Octavia said.

"There's not really anything going on. We're just, I don't know," she sighed again. "We're just hanging out. Talking."

"Hanging out? I didn't know the commander did that."

"Don't be rude."

* * *

The council was once again gathered in the war room. Clarke was getting tired of all these meetings but knew it was necessary. Lexa and Indra had finally come up with a plan and were about to share it with the other councilmembers.

"Because of our alliance with the _skaikru_ we have an advantage," Indra began. "You have more advanced weapons and can be more accurate from a longer distance."

"We will place our best archers in the trees around camp. We will also put some of your people among them with your long distance guns-"

"Snipers," Clarke interrupted.

"Right," Lexa looked at her, "snipers. There will also be skaikru hidden on the ground with guns. That way we secure the camp, making it close to impossible for any Ice Nation warrior to get close. The rest of the warriors and fighters will be split up in groups who will march towards their camp. We are going to come at them from all angles. We are not losing this fight. Gustus, you received word from our scouts?"

"Yes, _Heda_," Gustus answered. "The Ice Nation has settled down. They put up camp about half a day's walk from here. They're very protective of themselves; our scouts have a hard time getting close enough for any kind of relevant information."

"Thank you, Gustus," Lexa nodded at him. "Now, their queen. I cannot tell you anything about what she is like, aside from the stories going around. The only thing I know is that she has a scar across her left eyebrow. You can't see it from a distance, but when you get close enough it's very hard to miss," Lexa went on to describe her sister's appearance, and how she remembered her.

Clarke was again amazed at how well they all hid their emotions. The only one showing anger was Indra, but then again she always looked angry.

* * *

When the meeting was finally over, it didn't take long before one of Lexa's guards came up to Clarke, telling her the commander requested her presence.

The moment Clarke stepped through the opening Lexa crashed their lips together, and her hands went everywhere. In her hair, on her back, her hips, back to her hair. The kiss was clumsy and intense, and Clarke loved every moment of it. When they finally had to stop to get air, Clarke took a deep breath.

"Whoa," Clarke asked, bringing their foreheads together.

"Yeah," Lexa agreed.

"What was that for?"

"I just felt like it," Lexa shrugged.

"You just felt like it?"

"Yes. Is there a problem?" Lexa asked.

"No, quite the opposite," Clarke answered, and then Lexa gave her that one smile and Clarke couldn't stay away any longer. Their lips met again, this time it lacked the clumsiness of the one before and the intensity had strengthened. Hands were roaming once again and someone let out a soft moan. Clarke wasn't sure who it was, her mind not able to focus on anything but the feeling of Lexa's lips on hers and the hands on her body. She wanted nothing more than to rip the clothes of Lexa's body but she knew it wasn't the right time, and settled for the mind blowing kisses she was receiving. If they were anything to go by, she knew it would be worth the wait.

The heated make-out session had slowed down to occasional soft kisses when there was a knock on the door. The guard that had retrieved Clarke came in and said something to Lexa in Trigedasleng. She managed to pick out the words Lincoln, Octavia and meeting, and figured they had probably made their mind up about the wedding.

"Send them in," Lexa answered, and he left.

"What did he say?" Clarke asked.

"Lincoln and Octavia requested a meeting about a bonding ceremony. You know, you should really work on you Trigedasleng, Clarke. Many of the Skaikru are practically fluent by now and as their leader you need to set a good example." Lexa sat down on her giant throne.

"Yeah, yeah," Clarke waved her off.

When Lincoln and Octavia came in they both nodded at Lexa, who returned the gesture.

"Heda," Lincoln said.

"Lincoln, Octavia," Lexa started, "you wanted to see me about a bonding ceremony? Do you mind if Clarke stays?"

"It's fine," Octavia smirked at the blonde, who glared in return. "We actually wanted to ask her something too."

"We wanted to ask you to consider us for bonding and for your guidance through our ceremony," Lincoln said.

"Also, we wanted to include a part of the ceremony from the Ark," Octavia added, "and were wondering if you would officiate it, Clarke."

Upon hearing this Clarke's eyebrows rose. "Really? Isn't the chancellor supposed to do that?" she asked.

"Yeah, but you're my best friend, I want you to do it."

Clarke tilted her head and gave them a soft smile, "I would be honoured." She reached for Octavia and gave her a big hug, reaching for Lincoln next.

"Thank you, Clarke," he said.

"So, Commander?" Octavia asked, giving her a hopeful expression.

"You have my consent. I will guide you through your process," Lexa answered.

Octavia let out a sigh of relief and gave Lexa a huge grin, "Oh my god, thank you so much. When do we start?"

* * *

They decided to start the prep for Lincoln and Octavia's bonding right away. They went on a hunting trip with a group of hunters for what was supposed to be a 3-day feast, then the rest on the fourth day, but they had to cut it all down to one day because of the threats they were facing.

While they were hunting, another group of people prepared for the sparring that would take place after the feast. Since they were both warriors they had to prove they were compatible in a fight, and were able to match the others skill.

When the hunters came back, a giant fire was started to cook the animals they had brought. Everyone was talking and having fun, some were even drinking. Monty and Jasper had brought their moonshine, but few dared to taste it. Octavia and Lincoln decided to stay off the alcohol, knowing they were fighting later and wanted a clear head. Everyone close to inhaled the food and they quickly got ready for the sparring match.

"You ready, O?" Clarke walked up to Octavia who was putting on her armour.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she smiled. "You know, I kind of wish we could to this at the regular pace, to enjoy it, but at the same time I am so ready to be done."

"Yeah, I get it. You're going to be married soon though. How crazy is that?" Clarke grinned.

"Yeah, holy shit," Octavia answered, eyebrows raised, before walking to the circle that had been arranged for the match.

The sparring match was as equal as it could have been. Since Lincoln had trained Octavia in the beginning she knew all his tips and tricks, and they both knew what to anticipate. They both received their fair share of heavy hits and by the end they were beyond exhausted. They circled each other, both breathing heavily but still smiling. Octavia went for one more jab, but missed Lincoln entirely due to her exhaustion. At that moment, Lexa stepped into the circle with a raised hand.

"Kru kom skai en kru kom TonDc! These two warriors have proven their physical capability. During conversations with both of them, they have also proven their mental capability. We will now move on to the last part of this ceremony," she said and led everyone to the courtyard in the middle of their camp.

Clarke had never seen a grounder wedding before and was surprised at how gentle and full of love it was. It was with tear-filled eyes she asked Octavia and Lincoln to support each other through sickness and health. She cried several times, during both Lexa's speech and her own. She had never seen Octavia smile as much in her life and Lincoln's eyes were filled with even more love than usual. Even Bellamy cracked a smile or two.

The day ended with a round of drinks, a bunch of laughs and clumsy dancing by both sky people and grounders. It was one of the best days Clarke had experienced in her life, and she wasn't even the one getting married.

* * *

Lexa hadn't seen Clarke all day and was starting to get worried. She had been busy with Indra and hadn't had the time to look for her, but was currently on the look-out for Octavia or Raven to see if she was with them. She found the girls in Raven's little engineering cave, a place she had never been before and frankly, it scared her a little. Not that she would ever admit that.

"Commander?" Raven frowned.

"Hello," Lexa nodded.

"Welcome to my humble abode, what can I do for you?" Raven grinned.

Lexa frowned in confusion, like she did most of the time Raven said anything, "I came to see if any if you have spoken to Clarke today."

"No, we thought she was with you," Octavia spoke up.

"I have not seen her all day," Lexa said slowly. If neither of them had seen Clarke then something had to be terribly wrong. There had not been a single day she didn't seek contact with any of them, not even hours apart.

Octavia could see the thoughts running through Lexa's head, an extremely unusual event, and she could feel her own heart starting to beat faster. "Maybe she's with Abby? In medical?" she said weakly.

"Come on, O. We all know Clarke can't go 30 minutes without seeing my beautiful face," Raven said, trying to lighten the mood, even though her face had lost some of it's colour.

"I have already spoken to Abby. She has not seen Clarke either," Lexa said. "Not her guard either, I don't understand how she could escape him."

"Clarke is a girl of many talents," Raven smirked.

Octavia started to smile at the joke, but quickly wiped it off, "Come on, Rae, this is serious."

"I know. Jokes are my coping mechanism, O. Trust me, I am internally freaking out. We all know Clarke can get herself into some pretty nasty trouble."

"Octavia, please go ready a few horses? I will gather a group to search for her," Lexa said and turned around to leave.

* * *

Clarke shot up from her laying position, breathing heavily as she adjusted to the darkness and looked around. She was on the ground; a metal ring that was chained to the wall on her right side surrounded her right ankle, and there was a slight crack in front of her letting in light. Her head was pounding and she could feel blood running down the side of her face. She was somewhat nauseous and dizzy, and concluded that she had a slight concussion. She turned around to lean against the wall and tried to remember what had happened.

She remembered coming back to her room to change her clothes and found a note folded neatly on the top of her bed, her name written in bold letters on the top. She remembered thinking it wasn't Lexa's writing and it was weird getting a note from anyone but her. It told her to meet her in the woods later that night and to come alone.

She remembered going the woods and waiting. She went alone but now she was thinking that maybe she should've told someone where she was going. It was dark so she didn't see much, and mostly had to rely on her hearing to get a sense of her surroundings. She remembered hearing the bushes rustling, a few branches cracking, and-

"Hello Clarke," the door had opened and the bright light temporarily blinded Clarke. As soon as her eyes adjusted and she could see who was in front of her, her heart started racing and she let out a soft gasp. Her eyes zeroed in on the unmistakeable scar across the left eyebrow of the woman in front of her.


	9. NOT A CHAPTER

Just wanted to say sorry for not updating in forever! I'm graduating high school this year so it's been pretty crazy. I just wanted to let you know that i will be continuing this story until the end, i do have another chapter on the way!


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